Both child and parents have many different reactions after they hear a diagnosis of diabetes. Most children and their families
go through a grieving period at first during which they feel sad. There are then many feelings that may include shock, denial,
sadness, anxiety, fear, anger, and guilt. Over time, families do adjust and get on with life as they knew it. They find themselves
adapting and readapting to diabetes. They may feel some of these emotions again and again.
Shock or denial
“This can't be true!“ Our first reaction to surprise or unwelcome news is often one of shock. This is our body’s way of cushioning
the blow. It’s natural to feel numb. Early on, parents often say the reality hasn’t hit them yet. Others describe the feeling
as a bad dream from which they keep hoping to wake up. This feeling of shock does not usually last long.
Sadness
“It feels like this is the end of the world.“ When we grieve, we feel a sense of loss or a deep sadness. Parents can feel
shattered by the knowledge that their child has to receive injections, do blood tests, and stick to a meal plan, and that
these changes are likely permanent. Parents and children may mourn their old way of life. Children may be upset that they
can’t eat whatever and whenever they want to. They may worry that it will affect their activities and friendships. Parents
may feel badly that they have to say no sometimes to even “healthy food“ because it isn’t the right time of day to eat it. Experiencing
these emotions may help us begin to rethink our lives and put the pieces back together. Once people have expressed their sadness
and sense of loss, they start to see the many parts of their lives and hopes for their future that don’t have to change.
Fear and anxiety
“How will we ever cope?“ Many parents feel anxious about their child’s health. Some worry they won't be able to juggle the
complex tasks required for good diabetes management. Others are more concerned about low blood sugar reactions. Some feel
stressed about having to give injections or finger pricks. Still others worry about their child’s future health, and wonder
whether he will be able to manage alone in later years. Some children fear needle pricks or finger pricks in the beginning.
Younger children, when they see their parents worry, may even think they’re going to die. However, their fear and anxiety
often serve to focus the parents’ attention on the needs of their children.
Anger and resentment
“Why me?“ Young people can be angry about developing diabetes. They may hate the injections, blood tests, and food restrictions.
It may seem as if their world has turned upside down. They may feel it just isn’t fair that they have to deal with this disease
and its demands. Parents too can feel angry that this has happened, and helpless to change it. They may resent the extra responsibilities
forced upon them. But anger can also empower parents in responding to and defending their children’s needs.
Guilt
“What did we do wrong?“ Parents often wonder if their child’s diabetes is due to something they did. They may blame themselves
because diabetes runs in their family. Some feel guilty because they didn’t notice the signs earlier. Children may feel they
are burdening their parents. Some feel guilty, believing they must have done something wrong to cause the diabetes. There
is absolutely no reason to feel guilty. There is nothing anyone can do to cause or prevent type 1 diabetes. Guilt can be managed
by refocusing on the things we do have some control over, such as treatment and future health.
All these difficult emotions can turn out to be positive and protective forces. However, they can also be harmful, if parents
or children get stuck in one of these states. Talking about these early emotional reactions, and learning to manage them,
helps families move along the path to adjusting to life with diabetes. During these early stages, the support of the diabetes
team, including the social worker and psychologist or behavioural specialist, is very important. They will help make the immediate
medical condition stable. They will also provide ongoing support to your child and family.
